giddy

Last week, on one of our phone conversations, I try to relay to him the uncomfortable feeling I have around one of my (male) managers, EM. During (one all-male) team working session, the partner joked that EM believes that women like men more, if men treat them like shit. EM had also previously told me that men are more interested in women who play/are hard to get. As I talk, I realize, Clerk is not the right person to tell this story. And finally, awkwardly, I say, "Um, I wasn't trying to, uh, give you any messages with this story...I'm just trying to explain what happened..."

Idiot!

On Friday, I told Clerk I would call on Sunday, and then, on Sunday, I run out of time. I mean, I can make time to talk to him for a few minutes, but...maybe it's better that I am not always available when I say I will be. I think, spitefully, He once said he'd call and then didn't...

So, last night, drunkenly walking to Joe's Pizza with my friend M, I am surprised when Clerk calls. I call him back when I get home, giddy and tipsy and talky. We talk about his weekend, and I am thrilled to hear that the rain caused him to return to DC early, because I suspect that Charlottesville on Saturday night = lots of cute students. "Oh, that's too bad," I say, smiling.

Thanks to some strong cocktails, I am fearless. He asks how long I'll be staffed in Dallas, and I say, "Through the summer...which I don't mind, because I can travel on the weekends: I can go to San Francisco, back to LA, I can come see you. "

He doesn't comment on this, so I keep talking. I now wonder if I should have had less vodka.

He exclaims happily everytime ESPN replays scenes of his beloved Red Sox team scoring runs, and I say, "Can I just say that it makes me really happy, how happy you are, to see that scene over and over again? You're like a small child, or autistic. "

He laughs, and then I think, Wow, was that really offensive? Yikes...

We talk about my upcoming visit, and he asks if I play tennis, which I don't. Again, I am cursing myself for not being more athletic.

I quickly assure him, "But you can play, and I can read, or walk around campus..."

He says, "Well that seems inconvenient, since...you're coming to..."

I jump in, "Since I'm coming to see you? Well I'm really coming to see Hung Jury(the lawyer cover band in which our mutual friend sings)..."

He says: "Yes, I know you just want to see D. Anytime I can facilitate that, just let me know..."

And we laugh. And I can't wait.